An Unexpected Hobbit
by Belladonna Wynter
Summary: Bilbo's little sister takes his place in the quest to reclaim the Lonely Mountain, because really, who wouldn't want to go on a quest with a dozen Dwarves, a wizard, and a studly Dwarf king along the way. Unabashed Mary Sue. Based on the film version. Ultimately a Thorin/OC fic with a healthy dose of comedy and common sense, as only Hobbits can deliver.
1. Chapter 1

An Unexpected Hobbit

"Now, you just take care not to talk to any strangers." Bilbo warned his adopted sister as he scooped up his backpack that he had hastily packed just before Bells had come home from the market. She had arrived to see an extremely agitated Bilbo frantically running about the house, stuffing random items into his bag. It had taken a good twenty minutes and a dozen cups of tea for her to calm him down enough to get him to tell her that Gandalf had come by and wanted something from him. He couldn't tell her what, but he wasn't going to hang around to find out. He did however, promise her he would be back in a week or so, after Gandalf had left.

Bilbo felt bad about leaving his sweet baby sister to face the wizard by herself, but if Bilbo wasn't around, surely he would leave the little Hobbitess alone. It would all be a case of bad timing. Surely Gandalf wouldn't hold the girl responsible for that. It's not like she could have done anything to keep him there. Bilbo was certain of that; nothing was going to keep him in the Shire *this* week! He had been wanting to do a little traveling outside of the Shire for a few years anyways. Now was as good a time to go as any, he reasoned.

Bells rolled her eyes at her brother's patronizing. She was more than capable of telling an old wizard that her brother wasn't in, and wasn't likely to be anytime soon. She had no idea what Gandalf had done to be so terrifying to her brother, but she was certain he was overreacting.

"Yes, Bilbo, I'll be fine. You just take care of yourself," she said as she readjusted a rather pointy spoon handle sticking out of his pack that had been a little too close to his neck. If he had tripped and fallen at just the wrong angle, he wouldn't have needed to walk out of town for a few days to avoid the wizard. Really, Bilbo was in more danger from his frantic state than from Gandalf. Still, she knew he would only worry himself further into a tizzy if he stayed. Better to get him out of the house and let him recover from… whatever Gandalf had said.

Bilbo turned around and put his hands on his little sisters' shoulders, making sure he had her full attention. "Be careful. Don't forget to leave the front candle lit at night so people will think I'm up late reading." In the last 20 years he had grown quite fond of the little waif he had taken in, and frequently bordered on over-protective. Bells appreciated the thought, but still insisted she could manage herself. "And if that dreadful wizard comes back, be sure to tell him he is not welcome in my house."

Bells expression softened at the thought of Bilbo being angry with the wizard. "Don't be like that. Gandalf is the reason you took me in in the first place. He is welcome here as far as I'm concerned, though not if he's going to be as unpleasant as you say he is. And if you don't like it, you can stay here and tell him off yourself." Bells folded her arms and dared her big brother to defy her. Part of her wished he would. Bilbo was being stupid and she would miss him if he left, even if it was only for a few days. They had never been apart for more than a day and she was sad to see him go.

Bilbo frowned. As scared as he was, he almost did decide to stay.

Almost.

"Just be safe. I'll be back soon." He squeezed Bells into a tight hug goodbye. This was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. And Bells wasn't going to make it any easier for him. She wrapped her arms around his neck like she used to do when she was small enough for him to carry her around, and started to cry.

Again, Bilbo's terror and resolve to leave ebbed. He held her for a few minutes and then couldn't take it anymore. He pulled away and put his hands back on her still bobbing shoulders. Though now her tears had become a little steadier, and the pitch of her crying went higher. Suddenly suspicious, he looked under the hair hanging over her face and saw that she was giggling. When he backed away in horror of being tricked, she started laughing outright.

"Your face!" She gasped for air between guffaws. "Oh, that was priceless!"

Bilbo readjusted his pack with an indignant grunt and stalked off, all doubts about leaving his sister alone to fend for herself now effortlessly shoved aside. "When the wizard comes to find you, you can join me at the inn in Buckland!" he called over his shoulder good naturedly.

"Ok, brother! I will," she called back happily with no intention of ever leaving Bag End. "I love you!"

Bilbo stopped in the middle of the path and turned around.

"I love you too." He spoke barely more than a whisper, but Bells heard it across the open yard and knew that it was true.

*knock knock knock*

Bells looked up from the tasty meal she had just been preparing for her bedtime snack. Her hand frozen in mid-air holding a juicy lemon she had been using to flavor her freshly roasted chicken. Sighing in annoyance, she set down the lemon and left her just-ready meal on the table. She tied her dressing gown securely with a touch more force necessary in her agitation at being disturbed during dinner. A major breech of Hobbit protocol. Whoever was at the door was about to receive a surly greeting if this wasn't very, very important.

She hesitated a moment before opening the door, remembering Bilbo's warning that Gandalf would be coming by, though he had been rather vague about just what the wizard wanted. Bells took a moment to contemplate her situation. She was still quite young by Hobbit standards, barely 30 years old, somewhat angelic looking with her wild curly blond hair and sky blue eyes, rather voluptuous, though still a bit skinny by Hobbit standards. She was also alone in a big hobbit hole, in a quiet corner of the Shire at a quiet time of night. Maybe she shouldn't open the door.

The knock came again, more insistently. Bells shook herself and opened the door. It was only Gandalf, after all.

"Dwalin, at your service."

"Er- Bells at yours." She made an awkward bob of a curtsey to the strange Dwarf standing in the doorway. Before she could recover, he had barreled his way into the foyer of Bag End.

"Do you know Bilbo?" She questioned, not really comfortable with a stranger entering the house with her alone in it. Gandalf she could handle, but nobody said anything about a Dwarf.

"No." He looked her up and down like he was looking for some tell-tale sign that she was crazy. Seeming not to find anything, the Dwarf got to the point. "Where is it lassie? Is it down here?"

"Is what down where?" Bells asked cautiously, turning to follow him.

"Supper. He said there'd be food. Lots of it." The Dwarf began sniffing around the several corridors leading off from the hallway.

"He said? Who said?" By now Bells had managed to collect her wits. She was alone with what was obviously a ravenous Dwarf, who seemed interested in nothing but wolfing down a good meal. He acted at least somewhat civil, and far more interested in filling his stomach than hurting her. Maybe it was better she just kept on his good side. And after all, Bilbo never said anything about turning any _Dwarves_ away, and she'd never seen a Dwarf before in her life, though of course there were many stories. Maybe if she fed him, he could tell her some of his own.

She mutely pointed down the hall towards the dining room. Dwalin strode through the hallway, while a very curious Bells followed quickly behind.

The Dwarf settled himself down in the chair in front of the fire with the freshly seasoned dinner set before it. Bells turned away for a split second to grab a tray piled high with freshly baked scones. By the time she turned back around the Dwarf had already downed a quarter of the roast chicken with a full glass of mulled wine.

"Very good, this. Is there any more?" The Dwarf asked.

Thinking out of self-preservation, she subtly swiped two scones into the pocket of her dressing gown (sewn for just such a midnight snack) before offering the tray to the Dwarf. With a flick of the wrist, he tossed one into his mouth and swallowed it whole.

"It's just that I wasn't expecting… company." She lamely defended herself.

While Bells dumbly gaped at Dwalin's savage gluttony, she failed to respond to the doorbell ring that echoed loudly from the main hallway.

"That'll be the door." Dwalin prompted her with an authoritative glare.

Bells walked hesitantly to the door. Surely the Dwarf's imposition the same week Bilbo had an encounter with the long absent wizard wasn't a coincidence, and with another arrival on the doorstep, it seemed tonight was going to be a night to remember. With a steadying sigh, Bells opened the round door to find another Dwarf on the doorstep. This one had a long smooth white beard and an ever-ready polite smile.

"Balin, at your service."

"Good evening." Bells said in her astonishment at yet another Dwarf.

The Dwarf, not quite so heedless as his predecessor, did not barrel in right away. Instead, he tried to make polite with the Hobbit girl by chatting about the weather.

"Yes, yes, it is. Though I think it might rain later," he said as he walked into the antechamber of Bag End. "Am I late?"

"Late for what…?"

There was a small clinking sound from the adjoining living room where Dwalin was trying to get his armored hand out of one of the pastry jars with some treacle in it.

"Oh! Haha, evening brother!"

"Oh! By my beard, you're shorter and wider than last we met."

"Wider, not shorter. Sharp enough for both of us, " said Balin, as he ambled into the living room.

Bells, not knowing what else to do, shut the door behind him and followed the second Dwarf into the hallway, only to witness the strangest form of greeting she had ever seen. The Dwarves braced each other's shoulders and after a knowing laugh, head butted each other… hard. To which they only laughed more.

"Excuse me," Bells ventured. She really didn't want to come off as rude, she didn't even really want them to leave, but she had to do the proper thing here. "But I don't know that you're in the right house, you see…"

The Dwarves paid the young Hobbit's rather long winded speech about 'having the right address, and that she was very tired, but that they really should be on their way' absolutely no attention as they began to raid the kitchen, pouring themselves liberal draughts of wine and experimented with some of the cheese, discarding a rather sharp blend of blue cheese, which happened to be Bilbo's favorite.

"but I had to cover my ass in case Bilbo ever hears about this; I'm sorry."

There was an awkward pause as if the Dwarves had just remembered that she was standing next to them. Perhaps they had, until the awkward silence snapped them out of their party planning.

"Apology accepted." Balin said with a reassuring smile. "Oh, now fill it up, brother. Don't stint." Bells had no idea if they had actually heard her, but she had made the proper noises that would satisfy Hobbit manners, and she was content to be done with it. Whatever happened next, Bilbo would have to hold her blameless as she had done all she could; it wasn't as if she could physically kick them out. With her Hobbit honor satisfied, she was eager for the rest of the strangeness that was certain to happen next to unfold.

As it happened, there was yet another knock at the door.

This time having an inkling of what would be on the other side, she wasn't quite as thrown as she would have been to find a pair of very young Dwarves about her own age on the doorstep.

"Fili." Announced the taller blonde Dwarf.

"And Kili." Supplied the slightly younger looking brunette Dwarf.

"At your service." They too were smilers, if in a roguish sort of way. At this point Bells just stepped back and let strangers in.

"Where is Mr. Boggins?"

"Er, well, he's not here right now."

"What, has it been canceled?" asked Kili.

"No one told us," followed Fili.

In their eagerness for an explanation, they had rushed forward, closing any distance between themselves and the little Hobbitess, who found herself a little flustered at being so close to (a couple of rather handsome) strangers.

"Canceled? No- nothing's been cancelled." she reassured them. Anything to make them give her a little space (and to smile at her again).

"Well, that's a relief." Said Kili with a relieved goofy grin on his face.

"Careful with these, I've just had them sharpened." Fili dumped an armload of weapons on Bells with an amused look as she half collapsed under the weight of the metal.

"It's nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Kili asked as he began taking inventory of the nearby living room.

"Oh, no, it's been in Bilbo's family for years- That's my aunt's hope chest! Can you please not do that?" Kili had begun scraping the bottom of his shoes on its edge.

"Fili. Kili. Come on. Give us a hand" Dwalin strode in and mercifully collected the two dwarves before they could cause any more mischief… in the foyer at least.

"Mr. Dwalin!" Kili greeted his old friend.

"Let's shove this in the hallway otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Balin sagely advised the little group huddled around Bilbo's great grandmother's dining room table that his great grandfather had specially carved for her on their 40th anniversary.

As Bells followed the Dwarves she was astonished to see that the dining room table had been extended with a spare table she had never seen before. Where had they found that? It was like they knew the place better than herself, and while she had not lived at Bag End all her life, she'd been there for almost two decades. Certainly they couldn't know it better than her. Against all logic, the Dwarves continued to make themselves at home with a cheery and industrious air, clearing out the entire pantry and setting everything on the-now feasting table. Obviously they were expecting even more company.

"Everyone? How many more are there?"

As if summoned by her train of thought, there was another knock at the door.

A completely bewildered Bells stumbled towards the door, only to have it fall open under the weight of half a dozen Dwarves who promptly fell inside, followed by several more and a stooping man in a raggedy grey robe and pointy hat.

"Gandalf!" Bells cried in delight. It had been years since the wizard last passed through the Shire, and she was overjoyed to see him, even if her brother had fled in terror of him.

"Belladonna!" the astonished wizard gasped. The tall man put a hand on her shoulder and steered the little Hobbit aside for a quiet conversation. . "What are you doing here? Where is Bilbo?"

"Bilbo's gone; he left me in charge of Bag End until he comes back. He said that you're not welcome in this house, but I think you're more than welcome, and as he's not here he can't object." She gave him an accusing look. "What did you say to make him so scared? He's determined not to come back until you leave."

The wizard looked uncomfortable. "Well, Bilbo had agreed to a sort of… enterprise," he answered evasively. The bustle of the Dwarves interrupted the hushed conversation as several of them passed between the Hobbit and the wizard, on a small quest for more drinking ware. Unwilling to let the wizard off so easily, Bells made the wizard promise that they would finish their conversation later, as she hurried off to supervise that no long term harm was done to Bag End, and to ensure that Bilbo wouldn't have a fit when he saw the place.

She ran down the hall after a particularly large bottle of wine. "That's Bilbo's special wineyard, excuse me!" The Dwarf wheeled around and garbled what was either insane gibberish (not surprising, considering his injury) or some Dwarfish to her. She was so flabbergasted by the axe half-buried in his skull she just let him go.

The Dwarf behind her with a horn to his ear tried to explain. "He's had… an injury. "

Still shocked, Bells could only stammer "From the axe in his head?"

Apparently the hearing horn didn't work very well. "Dead? No, only between his ears. His legs work fine."

The hubbub continued in what was actually a remarkably orchestrated set up of a marvelous dinner party; one just couldn't see the beauty of it as there were so many Dwarves in one place the whole thing looked chaotic. And decimating, as Bells headed for the fast-depleting pantry.

"That's a tad excessive, don't you think?" She asked when the full stack of cheese that Bilbo had provisioned for the month went by, carried by a single Dwarf. "Have you got a cheese knife?" She asked with all the proper concern of a hostess.

"Cheese knife?" Bifor questioned. "He eats it by the block."

"Oh." Bells shrugged, content that while the Dwarves were certain to eat her out of house and home overnight, they were at least self-sufficient as guests.

Gandalf was just finishing setting the table with utensils when Dori kindly enquired if he would care for some 'nice chamomile tea.'

"Oh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me I think." The Dwarf's face fell a little, and he scurried away to find some wine and a little glass.

Table setting completed, Gandalf set to the business of making sure all of the Dwarves were present, which was rather difficult, considering that none of them kept still for even a moment.

"Let's see… Fili, Kili, Bifor, Bofor, Bomber. Balin, Dwalin. Oin, Gloin, Dori, Nori, Ori!" the wizard exclaimed, as the diminutive Dwarf came up underneath the wizard while engaging in a tug of war with Bells over a bowl of Bilbo's prize-winning tomatoes that had earned him first place in the faire the week before.

The Dwarf with axe buried in the middle of his forehead stumbled up to Gandalf and muttered a string of old Dwarfish to the wizard, ending with a brusque beating on his forearm for effect.

"Yes, you're quite right, Bifor." This certainly *was* going to be one hell of a party.

Continuing his census, Gandalf realized that not everyone had arrived yet. "We appear to be one Dwarf short." The wizard mused aloud.

Dwalin, leaning negligently against a doorway sipping some mead did not seem the least bit worried. "He's late, is all. He traveled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come."

"Mr. Gandalf. A little glass of red wine as requested. It's got a… fruity bouquet."

"Oh. Cheers." Gandalf downed the little coup in half a gulp. Looking pensively at the little thimble, he lamented asking for only a 'little' bit of wine.

In almost no time at all, the table was fully set, and laden with anything and everything the Dwarves had deemed edible from the pantry, which, being a Hobbit pantry, was quite the spread. Bells had given up trying to hold back any of the food; she would just have to go down to the market tomorrow morning and tell Mr. Brandybuck to put it on Bilbo's tab, since her brother hadn't left her with enough coin to refurbish the entire kitchen. Still, looking at a empty pantry is quite a nasty shock for a Hobbit. She eventually just refused to look into the doorway whenever she passed the now desolate closet.

It was nothing like even the silliest, rowdiest nights at the Green Dragon tavern. Not that Bilbo would ever let her go to something so wild; she would sneak out anyways, and often played in the band as an excuse to other respectable Hobbits for her participation. She was such a favorite of everyone that somehow word never got back to Bilbo of his little sister's exploits in the tavern.

This was a full on frat pledge party. Fili was in charge of refilling goblets and steins, not bothering to squeeze around the table, he just walked over it. "Who wants an ale? There you go!" Dwalin lost some of his surliness and poured a bit of extra ale into Oin's ear horn; Oin seemed more distressed at wasting the ale than having it all spill down the side of his head. Bells momentarily worried about the spilt alcohol stripping the wood (which seemed to exponentially accumulate as the evening wore on), before shrugging her shoulders as the whole affair had been entirely out of her hands long ago. Even Gandalf joined in and loosened up a bit, having procured a larger mug and a spot next to the pitcher.

The whole house seemed to echo with laughter and merriment. Bells was fascinated with everything from the belching contest to Bombur's feat of catching a boiled egg in his mouth. In recognition of his prowess, she gave him the biggest helping of the treacle she had prepared earlier that day in anticipation of Bilbo's return later that week.

All the fun aside, however, Bells had to admit that the Dwarves were having an adverse effect on the house that had been so lovingly tended by Bilbo. The floor was covered in grime and she doubted there was any food left in the pantry. There was also a noxious stink coming down the hall from the bathroom. The Hobbit hole seemed doomed to disarray, and there was little a single Hobbit could do to limit the damage on that scale. There were still some things she could not let go unchallenged, however.

"Excuse me that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" she called as she ran down the hallway after an itinerant dwarf.

"But it's full of holes." Bifor thoughtfully pointed out.

"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." She snatched the dainty cloth from him and began smoothing it out, searching for any damage.

"Oh, a wonderful game it is, too. If you've got the balls for it."

Sure enough, there was a large rent in the design. Even if she managed to stitch it up, it would never be the same color as it had already been used to mop up some spilled wine. Bells sat down and put her head in her hands. "Bilbo is going to kill me!"

A slightly drunken Gandalf wandered by and noticed her despair. "My dear Belladonna, what on earth is the matter?"

Incredulous, she gestured at the disarray. "What's the matter? There is now way I'm going to be able to get all this cleaned up before Bilbo gets home. Once he sees this mess he's going to use me for a mop!" Forcing herself to take a deep breath Bells tried to rationally get to the bottom of this havoc. "Not that I mind Gandalf, but what are they doing here?"

"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them." He waved his arm at Bofur who tried to steal some of Nori's recently appropriated sausage links, escalating into a full out brawl.

"I'm already 'used' to them, they're a lot of fun and much more interesting that anything that ever happened at the Green Dragon. But look at the state of the kitchen. There's mud trod in the carpet. They've pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom, they've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in Bilbo's house!" Bells took a deep breath and collected herself. It was no use whining at the wizard, much less screaming at him.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" Ori stepped into the middle of the argument, completely oblivious to the exasperation of Bells, or to Gandalf's relief.

Fili walked by and gathered the plate. "Here you go, Ori. Give it to me." Fili snatched the plate and negligently tossed it down the hall. Gandalf scooted out of the way just in time. Just then Kili darted out from around the corner, caught the plate, and spun it behind him, flinging it down the adjacent hallway.

Further down the line, Bofur was already washing dishes in the sink. He caught the plate tossed at the back of his head without even a blink. Bells later attributed this to his axe injury giving him quicker reflexes and a certain amount of intuition.

Bells was horrified at the way these so fun and friendly dwarves were treating Bilbo's treasured dishware. "Excuse me, that's Bilbo's mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over 100 year's old!"

The Dwarves ignored her protests and continued the game. Even Gandalf joined in, purposely getting back onto the line of fire so he could duck and bounce about. The dwarves were more coordinated, however, as they bounced the dishes between their hands, off their forearms and knees, even tossing them under their legs. Things really escalated as the seated Dwarves began tapping the cutlery.

"Oh, don't do that, you'll blunt them!

"Do y'hear that lads? Bofor queried as they continued mercilessly to tease the Hobbitess. "She says we'll blunt the knives!"

This was one of Kili's favorite games and he started to sing to the rhythm the other Dwarves tapped out.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks"

Of course, Fili had to join in too. "Smash the bottles and burn the corks."

A few more started to sing. "Chip the glasses and crack the plates."

Everyone joined in for the chorus: "That's what Belladonna hates!"

Cut the cloth and tread the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door!

It was a smorgasbord of flying dishes. One false move and the whole line of plates and bowls would have littered the floor. A few of dwarves only passed the dishes around and sang while the others performed the aerial circus of cutlery. Bombor was carefully scouring the dishware for any leftover food. Balin sat at the end of the table, idly tapping passing dishes into the air off his own plate. Gandalf encouraged higher and more complicated throws from the younger Dwarves by blowing target smoke rings.

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

And when you've finished if any are whole

Send them down the hall to roll

By now, a full band had formed as Bofur pulled out his flute, and Dwalin his fiddle. Oin improvised a whistle with Bilbo's favorite teapot. It really was a fun tune, if Bells hadn't been so worried about Bilbo's things she would have joined in herself.

"That's what Belladonna hates!"

As the dwarves finished their song, Bells was amazed to see the entire collection carefully piled and… clean! These dwarves didn't mess around, even while having fun.

The fun was soon to come to an end, however as an ominous knock came from the front door, followed by an ominous silence by the Dwarves.

Everything went still.

"He is here." Gandalf announced.


	2. Chapter 2

The most handsome male Bells had ever seen in her life was standing in the doorway. He was the tallest Dwarf among them, which meant she barely cleared the middle of his chest if they were standing toe to toe. He had long braided hair like the rest, but there was something about his bearing that set him apart. His eyes were a piercing steel blue that seemed to look right through her. Without even knowing anything about him, she could tell this was a Dwarf of immense nobility. All of her internal alarms were buzzing and whirring that whatever happened, she needed to stay close to this Dwarf. She instantly promised her intuition that this would be so. She had completely fallen in love with this Dwarf, even as part of her said it was impossible. The rest was still too shocked to register the sudden wave of emotion.

And then he spoke.

"Gandalf."

That voice. Bells barely suppressed a shudder.

"I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it all had it not been for the mark on the door."

As much as she hated to contradict this handsome stranger, Bells had to stick up for the housekeeping of the Baggins' household. She swallowed down her hormones and managed to find her voice. "Mark? There is no mark on that door, Bilbo had it painted a week ago."

Gandalf quickly interjected to avoid the situation getting off on too bad of footing. This newcomer was much too quick to provoke. "There is a mark, I put it there myself." Gandalf paused, uncertain whether he really wanted to commit to the next bit of business. He didn't want to put Bells in the line of fire, and certainly didn't intend to take her on the quest. However, his relationship with the Dwarf prince was tenuous as it was; he couldn't lose face in front of him by informing him that his chosen Hobbit had run away in fear. He would just have to find a way to patch this whole mess up later. For now, he mentally offered Bells a silent apology and set fate into motion.

"Belladonna Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield."

Thorin stepped forward to evaluate what he assumed to be Gandalf's proposition. "So, this is the Hobbit…." He just stood there taking her in, assessing her measure. From his cool gaze and bored air it seemed he was guessing it wasn't much. Bells was suddenly very conscious of the fact that she was only wearing her robe and the super flimsy/revealing nightgown that Bilbo didn't approve of. Her hair was all ruffled up from a busy day of errands and mischief about the Shire. Of course she was still gorgeous, just a little… tumbled looking, if not vulnerable feeling. She did her best to covertly tighten up her robe, without much success as a sudden volley of questions was launched at her, knocking her off balance mentally as well as physically.

"Tell me, Miss Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" She looked over to Gandalf for an explanation but the wizard only shrugged noncommittally.

"Ax or sword; what you're weapon of choice?" Her attention was immediately drawn back to the imposing yet so enticing figure that had begun circling her like a predator assessing its prey.

"Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know. But I fail to see… why that's relevant." she stammered. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? And big and strong, and-

"Thought as much, she looks like a grocer than a burglar."

With that casual dismissal the spell that had overtaken Belladonna was broken, and quickly replaced with indignation and anger. She was not the type of Hobbit to love blindly; she could certainly get angry and find fault with the object of her affection. It just made her a little more reluctant to admit, even to herself, that she was in love with Thorin, especially after a moment's introduction and an ego the size of a mountain. Oh, the smug look on his face! In that instant Bells wished she had spent her time practicing hand to hand combat instead of violin. Then he'd quit smiling!

The entire Dwarf party guffawed and adjoined back to the feasting table, this time in a much more sober mood. Gandalf and Bells were left alone in the hall.

"What... was that?" a completely bewildered and still fuming Bells demanded.

"I am sorry, Belladonna. I had meant for Bilbo to meet Thorin."

"Wha- the- bu- hu- you- nah!" She blustered and gesticulated wildly in her utter incomprehension of everything that had happened that night, including the tall, dark, and handsome Dwarf leader that had just royally snubbed her… literally. She collected herself after a few seconds, remembering to practice her deep breathing exercises. She placated herself with fantasies of revenge, reconciliation and of the nights thereafter… Bells managed to settled down, though one of her hands was still clenched in a fist.

"We will talk about this later. For now, I have to go supervise a dozen unruly Dwarves and his royal highness to make sure Bilbo doesn't come home to a completely ruined house!" Of course, the real reason for her distress and eagerness to to follow was because she couldn't bear any longer to be out of sight of Thorin; not that Gandalf needed to know that. She left him behind in the hall just as Thorin had left her mere seconds before.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?"

Thorin looked up from his bowl of soup. "Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

A chorus of cheers filled the entire dining room, if not the Hobbit hole.

Dwalin was quick to cut to the heart of the matter. Even with the reinforcements, they still needed more. "And what do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?"

Thorin took a moment to break the news more gently. "They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone."

"You're going on a quest." It was meant as a question, but came out as a statement. Either way, she felt dumb for speaking out loud, especially when everyone turned to look at her as if they had forgotten she was there.

Gandalf tried to spare her the awkwardness of the situation by making her useful, and also getting her out of the way. "Er, Belladonna, my dear girl, let us have a little more light."

Oh no, he did not just call her a 'girl' in front of Thorin. True, even by Hobbit standards she was still young. But she didn't want Thorin to think of her that way. She silently grumbled to herself as she fetched a nearby candle and set it next to the map, allowing Gandalf began his dramatic narration. "Far to the east, over raises and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

"The Lonely Mountain" Bells slowly deciphered the scrawled writing under the little mountain Gandalf had pointed to.

"Aye!" chimed in Gloin. "Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time!"

Oin spoke up. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold! When the birds of yore have returned to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."

"Umm… what beast?" Bells couldn't keep herself from getting involved in the exposition. No matter how much she might be irritated by Thorin's pride, she still trusted her character radar, and the silly acts of pride notwithstanding, he was everything she had ever dreamed of in a guy. She was going with them.

Bofur was only too happy to explain "Oh, that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather. Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals." He was so relaxed and casual, he almost seemed to be enjoying telling a bedtime ghost story.

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Conceptually.

Ori jumped up, eager to show his own bluster. "I'm not afraid! I'm up for it! I'll give a taste of Dwarvish iron right up his jacksie!"

The older Dwarves who knew better murmured in disagreement, while the younger rumbled in agreement with Ori. "Good lad, Ori!" That almost certainly came from Fili and Kili's corner.

Dori reached up and dragged Ori back into his seat. "Sit down!"

Balin managed to shout down the table. "It would be difficult enough with an army behind us, while we number just 13. Nor 13 of the best, nor brightest.

Again, the table was split among the in/experienced ""Ere! Who are you calling dim?"

This time Fili raised his voice above that of the table. "We may be few in number, but we're fighters. All of us. To the last Dwarf!"

Kili of course followed suit "And you forget that we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have have killed hundreds of dragons in his time."

Gandalf was quick to try to get out of the conversation. "Oh, well.. now, I wouldn't say that.."

"How many then?" asked Dori.

"What?"

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?

A long pause followed while everyone stared at Gandalf, eager for a high number. Gandalf could only stall for time by pretending to choke on a bad lungful of smoke. The tension in the room continued to build until Dori grew impatient.

"Go on, give us a number!"

Suddenly all the Dwarves were up and shouting, even taking a few swings at each other across the table as they disputed the wizard's deeds. Bells tried to quieten the crowd, but mumblings of "gentlemen, please!" were lost in the cacophony.

"Shazara!" Thorin all but jumped out of his chair with an impressive yell in an effort to reign in his Dwarves. Immediately, everyone stopped what they were doing and sat back down like admonished children. "If we have read these signs do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread: the dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look to the mountain assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected- Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours. Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekar! Du Bekar!

"You forget the front gate is sealed! There is no way into the mountain."

Gandalf held up a tentative hand. "That my dear Balin is not entirely true." Slowly, a Dwarvish key materialized in his grasp.

Thorin barely breathed. "How came you by this?"

"It was given to me by your father. By Thrain. For safekeeping. It is yours now." He handed it to Thorin, who held it reverently in his hand, the expression on his face looking like Christmas had just come early.

"If there is a key, there must be a door." Fili theorized.

Gandalf pointed to a jumble of Dwarvish script on the map. "These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."

"There's another way in." Kili drunkenly summarized.

"Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf took a deep breath as he considered the map on the table. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but… there are others in Middle Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we are careful, and clever… I believe it can be done."

Ori put it together aloud for the company. "That's why we need a burglar!"

Belladonna had become too invested in the conversation to not interject her opinion. "And a good one too! An expert, I'd imagine."

Again, the entire table paused, as though they had all forgotten her... again.

Gloin was the first to recover. "And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"She said she's an expert!" It seemed Oin's hearing horn gave him only selective hearing. Bells was quick to defend her Hobbit sense of honor. "Who- me? No! No, I've never stolen anything in my life."

Balin kindly agreed. "I'm afraid I have to agree with Mistress Baggins. She's hardly burglar material."

Dwalin was not quite so gentle in voicing his opinion. "Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves."

More Dwarves spoke up their own thought over Belladonna's burglar prowess, which quickly became another shouting match. Bell's idly wondered if it was the alcohol or if Dwarves really were this rowdy. Gandalf magically enhanced his size and voice to intimidate the others into seeing reason. Still having no real intention of signing Bells into the company, he had to at least restore some of the Dwarves' faith in him, especially after have lost some credibility from the dragon question earlier.

"Enough! If I say Belladonna Baggins is a burglar then a burglar she is! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf, the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him which gives us a distinct advantage. You've asked me to find the 14th member of this company, and I've chosen Miss Baggins. There's a lot more to her than appearances suggest, and she's got a great deal to offer more to her than any of us know; even myself. You must trust me on this."

Thorin grudgingly accepted Gandalf's choice, though he himself had no faith in the little Hobbit behind him, who was starting to echo Gandalf's argument. "Very well. We'll do it your way." He cut of Bell's squeals of joy with a wave of his hand. "Give her the contract."

"Well then, we're off!" The rest of the Dwarves started chatting (again, rather loudly) amongst themselves, leaving the leaders to decide the details.

"It's just the usual… summary of out of pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." Balin passed the massive bundle of parchment to Thorin, who shoved it over his shoulder into Bell's stomach without even looking back when the air was momentarily pressed out of her lungs.

"Funeral arrangements?" She gasped. Trying to get her breathing back, she opened the contract, which unfurled from her hands all the way into a small pile on the floor.

"Oh…"

Taking advantage of Bell's momentary distraction, he pulled Gandalf aside. " I cannot guarantee her safety."

The wizard nodded. "Understood." It was a fair shake after all. They were going on an impossible mission. And of course, Belladonna would not be going with them. He would see to that once he had a chance to speak to her later away from the Dwarves.

"Nor will I be responsible for her fate."

Gandalf paused, displeased with Thorin's lack of concern for their supposed burglar to-be, one of the most important (and late) roles to the enterprise. Still, it didn't matter, because in reality there was no way the Hobbit he loved as an adopted granddaughter go on such a quest. "Agreed."

Bells was so engrossed reading the contract she didn't hear Gandalf (superficially) agreeing to the cutting of her young life short by 100 years. "Terms: cash on delivery. Up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, it any… sounds fair… huh, present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof but not limited to… lacerations…" She paused to let that one sink in. "Evisceration." They really were going to let her go out and do this? "Incineration?" She looked up at the Dwarves in confusion. Bofur was happy to elaborate, again. Apparently it didn't take much to get him going when it came to horror stories.

"Oh aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye."

"Huh." Not the explanation she was looking for, but a decent slam against reality; enough to confirm her hopes. They were accepting her into the company! The realization had her seeing stars.

Balin noticed the color drain from her rosy cheeks. "You all right lassie?"

"Uh yeah, feel a bit faint." And giddy. The quest was projected to take over a year; exactly the kind of long-term commitment she was looking for. Of course, she would have to leave home, and the thought of leaving Bilbo, without even a proper goodbye made her lips felt tingly. _Keep breathing, Bells! _

Bofur continued on, pretending to be oblivious to Bell's sudden turn. "Think furnace with wings."

At this point, the continued narration was just winding her up more. She struggled to keep her breathing ratio steady. "Air- I-I- I need air."

This proved to be more fuel for the fire that was Bofur's expounding the agonizing death that awaited one who tried to take on Smaug. "Flash of light, searing pain, then- Poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash."

The sheer astonishment of being given her heart's most cherished desire of staying with this company (especially Thorin) combined with the pain of leaving Bilbo behind finally got the better of her. She teetered on her feet for a moment, thinking at the last moment to try to get out of the Dwarves line of sight, she fought back against the impending black but to no avail.

"Hmm… nope!" She gave into the faint as the floor came rushing up to greet her, the contract still clutched in one hand.

"Oh, very helpful, Bofur." Gandalf scowled. He knew Bells was going to be that much more upset when he forbade her to go once she woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

9

"You'll be alright. Just... sit quietly for a moment." Gandalf sighed as he handed Bells a tray full of steaming mugs of cocoa.

"I've been sitting quietly all my life, Gandalf." She said dejectedly from an overstuffed arm chair with a giant fluffy throw blanket draped around her shoulders. "How can doilies, and Bilbo's mother's dishes be more important than this quest? How can I possibly turn a blind eye? Don't you remember when I was a young Hobbit-

"-You still are a young Hobbit." The wizard interjected.

She paused and gave him an impatient look. He conceded and waved her on.

"I was the young Hobbit who was always running off in search of Elves in the woods. Who would stay out late and only come home after dark, trailing mud and twigs and fireflies, much to Bilbo's consternation. I was a young Hobbit who would have liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the Shire. Twenty years later and I'm still that Hobbit, Gandalf. The world isn't in the books and maps that Bilbo is content to study. It's out there." She gestured towards the window, unknowingly pointing directly towards Erebor.

Gandalf was beginning to lose patience. She was his God daughter, she deserved a normal, Hobbit life. While a very few Hobbits exhibited wander-lust in their youth, they always seemed to grow out of it. He couldn't bear to let her go on this quest; even if she would survive, he knew she would regret it later. "You can't just go running off into the blue. You are a Baggins. Of Bag End!" He added for emphasis.

Bells smiled like the cat that ate the canary. He had played right into her hands. "I am also adopted."

Gandalf was aghast as he saw where this was going.

"I could be a Took. Did you know Bilbo's great great great great granduncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could ride a real horse?"

"...Yes" he reluctantly contributed when it became obvious she wouldn't finishing without forcing him to participate.

"Well, he could!" she snapped. Her whole demeanor became dreamy as she narrated the bedtime story Bilbo used to tell her every night when he would tuck her in. "In the battle of Green Fields. He charged the Goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard it knocked the Goblin King's head clean off, and it sailed a hundred yards through the air and down a rabbit hole. Thus the day was won. And the game of golf invented at the same time." She couldn't help adding Bilbo's favorite joke onto the end, which didn't impress Gandalf one bit.

"I do believe Bilbo made that up."

Bells was decent enough to allow a moment of chagrin. "Well all good stories deserve embellishment." Only a moment, though. She was already fantasizing about the adventure with the Dwarves, one in very particular. "I'll have a tale or two to tell of my own when I get back." she said smugly over her cocoa.

"But that's just it, Belladonna; I can't promise that you will come back! I can't even promise you'll make it to Bree!"

"Gandalf, It's only by sheer luck that Halfast Goodenough hasn't come by to propose to me today. Do you know that when he came by last week, he stuck the ring in a boiled egg to present it? A boiled egg, Gandalf! That's as exciting as it gets around here. I have to get out. Please!" She picked up the contract and pointed to the blank space where her name had been scratched in by Balin but not yet signed by her own hand. "This is my chance."

"But what about-"

"I do love this place, but only for Bilbo's sake. He is my home, and he's not even here. I should be on the road with him, not playing house for you and a bunch of Dwarves! And what am I supposed to do after he gets married? There will already be someone else to clean the house and keep him on his toes. I'm not staying where I'm not needed and you *do* need a Hobbit for this quest. I can see you and Thorin don't agree on much, but at least on that point you do. Right now you need me as much as I need you. You can't just leave me behind."

There. The words were out and there was no going back.

"When Bilbo comes back you can talk about leaving the Shire- "

"When Bilbo comes back there won't be a company of Dwarves to go with."

"Granted, but you will still have plenty of choices when Bilbo gets back."

Just to humor the wizard, Bells tried to visualize what life would be like when Bilbo came home. Eventually, she would have to leave Bilbo anyways, no matter how much it hurt. Halfast would continue to propose with a new food stuff every week. The Green Dragon would be tame after tonight. And watching Thorin go out that door…

It was just unthinkable.

"There is no choice, Gandalf… not for me."

The bedraggled wizard let out a long sigh. The little Hobbitess's heart was set on this, and, reading between the lines, it was probably set on Thorin too. He couldn't flatly refuse her. It had been a long day and he just couldn't add crushing Belladonna's dream to the list. "I'll sleep on it." Bells started to say something and the wizard kept speaking to cut her off. "-on the condition that whatever I decide in the morning will be the final say in the matter. Agreed?"

Seeing that she wouldn't get an endorsement that night Bells was forced to let Gandalf off the hook for the time being. She downed the rest of her last cup of cocoa and got up to go to her room.

"Agreed."

A dejected Bells walked down the hall while Thorin and Balin were talking amongst themselves in an alcove by the dining room. Gandalf appeared a few moments later on his way to the guest room to inform them that Belladonna would not be joining them in their venture, and that they were to leave early, by first light to avoid disturbing her anymore than they already had. He left out the part that they were actually leaving before she could wake up and insist on going. Gandalf knew that whatever their agreement, Bells wouldn't hold to it if Gandalf was going to forbid her going.

Thorin let out derisive hurrumph but otherwise didn't comment. Balin was more verbose about the prospect. "It appears we've lost our burglar. Probably for the best. After all, what are we? Merchants, miners, tinkers, toymakers; hardly the stuff of legends."

While Thorin didn't mind losing out on the Hobbit, he couldn't let his Dwarves' moral slip. "There are a few warriors among us."

Balin gave him a look. "Old warriors."

"I would take every one of these dwarves over an army from the Iron Hills. For when I called upon them, they came. Loyalty. Honor. A willing heart… I can ask no more than that."

Balin tried to give him an out. He would be such a great king, even without his family's immense wealth and prestige; Thorin didn't need to go on this suicide mission. Plus, he liked the Dwarf. "You don't have to do this. You have a choice. You've done honorably by our people. Carved out a new life for us in the Blue Mountains. A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor."

Thorin would not be dissuaded, not even by a dear friend and mentor. He looked at the key that that dishonest wizard had previously kept hidden from him. "From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me. They dreamt of the day the Dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland."

They had gotten this far without the key. Now that they had it, Erebor was finally within their reach. He couldn't throw it all away now.

"There is no choice, Balin… not for me."

Just as Gandalf couldn't refuse Belladonna earlier, so Balin couldn't bring himself to disagree with Thorin now. "Then we are with you, laddie. We will see it done."

Knowing that Gandalf ultimately wouldn't let her leave with them, Belladonna knew also that her time with the Dwarves was critically short, so she decided to make the most of it. She passed into the oak hall for appearances before passing her own room and circling back through the smoking room and pantry to the atrium, stopping just outside the alcove where Thorin and Balin were quietly talking. There she practiced the much refined Hobbit art of eavesdropping and heard the entire conversation just after Gandalf had left. Her heart positively melted when she heard Thorin echo her own words from earlier. She felt his need for this quest as if it were her own. Indeed, it perfectly matched her own. She hadn't just given Gandalf a hard sell earlier. As much as she loved Bilbo (and she did, though it was tearing her apart inside about leaving) she knew she was already in love with Thorin and had to follow after him.

She was so deeply absorbed by her thoughts that she almost leaped into the wall behind her when Thorin and Balin left the alcove to mozy into the parlour, but they were still thinking about the quest and didn't bother to look behind them. The other Dwarves seemed to take it as a sign and began filling into the room, Bells tried her best to remain unnoticeable by tucking herself deeper into the corner. Bifor and Bombor were the last to arrive with a previously undiscovered plate of bread and brie between them that Bells had hidden away under the wash basin in the bathroom during the earlier commotion. Once more she cursed the Dwarves' thoroughness as she edged closer to the lowered arch marking the doorway.

Some of the Dwarves were smoking their pipes, lending a haze to the room. There was an odd silence as everyone contemplated the journey ahead and their chances of success. Quietly, Thorin began to sing. Belladonna felt her heart stop and start again several times. It was a low song of quiet longing and once more she felt her own a match for his. Some of the Dwarves joined in while others just hummed.

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away ere break of day_

_To find our long-forgotten gold_

_The pines were roaring on the height_

_The winds were moaning in the night_

_The fire was red, it flaming spread_

_The trees like torches blazed with light_

Between the low tones and the smoke of the room, the air felt dreamy, almost mystical. Despite her captivation and the pull of her heart strings, Bells eyes began to drift shut from want of sleep. She made it through the song, redoubling her resolve to go, before staggering down the hall to her bed. She had initially planned to pack everything that night and just pick up a neat bundle before walking out the door at first light, but as she futilely tugged at her clothes to change for bed, she realized she wasn't just tired; she was drugged. '_The cocoa!_' She thought as her body mutinied against her attempts to stay upright. '_That lying, cheating, no good wizard…._' she fell against the desk, spilling everything to the floor and blacked out for the second time that night.

"Should we leave her a note, at least? It seems rude to leave without a word after last night's hospitality." Balin asked.

"Oh, no! There's no need for that." Gandalf replied. " Hobbit's are very hospitable people. She'll understand we had to find breakfast elsewhere." he added with a nervous laugh as he grabbed random Dwarves' bags for packing to expedite the process.

A few Dwarves stopped their own packing to give the wizard an odd look. Really, Gandalf wasn't good at lying when it came to his God daughter. He guiltily checked the sleep potion in his satchel and offered a prayer to Eru that he had managed the dose just right. It was bad enough he had slipped her a mickey. He didn't need her waking up early and giving him a tongue lashing about it too. Then he'd _have_ to let her come. With that thought, the shifty wizard doubled his packing speed and urged the others to do the same.

Belladonna woke to the morning sunshine spilling through her bedroom window and directly onto her sleepy eyelids. She cringed and rolled over, trying to ignore the hammer inside her skull that was bashing the backside of her forehead. With that poignant reminder of the drugged cocoa Belladonna sat bolt upright in her bed and was immediately reprimanded by her dehydrated body with several more hammers adding to the cacophony inside her head. '_Wait… I'm in bed._' she realized as she shifted under the thick, cozy blankets. '_Someone came in here and put me into my bed!_'

She wondered briefly about exactly who that might have been, but the suspect list reminded her of the dire circumstance she was in; the Dwarves would have already left after sunrise! She flung herself out of bed, dragged a backpack out of the closet and began tossing in any clothing within reach. She grabbed a couple blankets from the linen closet and wrapped them up around a pillow for a bed bundle. What else would she need? No doubt the Dwarves already had cooking gear, and some kind of meal plan set up, so she didn't need to worry about that; meager though it would be for a Hobbit. She went into the parlour where the Dwarves had sung last night, looking for any clues about packing. The contract was still lying in the arm of the chair she had been sitting in, completely undisturbed. Naturally the Dwarves wouldn't bother taking it with them if they were going to leave her behind. She ran into Bilbo's study for a quill and ink to sign it and stuck the legally binding contract into a small pouch on the outside of her pack. If she was going through all the trouble to track them down she was going to make it damn hard for them to turn her away once she caught up to them.

She looked around the room for any more clues. Her eyes came to rest on Bilbo's favorite pipe.

'_Bilbo!_'

She couldn't just go off and leave him without a word. She ran into the library and jotted down a quick note explaining what had happened, where she was going, and most importantly, why. She left the hastily composed letter on Bilbo's pillow, hoping he would find it quickly. She took a last look around Bilbo's room, morose that she would have to leave him. At least she could take something along with her as a momento. She dug into his sock drawer and found -yes! His pocket kerchief stash! She swiped the whole pile, figuring that it would be easy enough for Bilbo to get more. She was glad not only that they would remind her of her brother to keep her spirits up, but also prove to be exceedingly useful on such an adventure. One last dash about the house to check for anything she would really regret leaving behind. Of course! Her toothbrush, hairbrush, nail trimmers and some some soap. '_Heck, could always use some extra soap_.'she thought to herself as she grabbed a couple extra bars. Anything to make her beautiful for Thorin? No, for a Dwarf like him... hard work and commitment would be sexy enough. With that last thought, she walked to the front door and took a last look around the Hobbit hole. It was a little disheveled now, after Bells had run back and forth like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to pack.

Actually, it looked like the hole had been a victim of burglary, though she was too swept up in her nostalgia to see it that way. It had been a wonderful home, and she would indeed miss it.

But she was going to miss Thorin even more if she didn't get moving.

She turned around, closed the door, locked it behind her, and turned around to face- a piglet.

"Geraldine!" She gasped. The not-so-little piglet walked up to her, wagging it's curly tail. "Geraldine, I'm sorry." The piglet looked up at her with big eyes, as if asking her why. Bells had fed her her last night and put her away before dinner. With all the ruckus of last night and frenzy that morning, she had completely forgotten about her porcine friend. She must have busted out of the pen when she didn't get her usual breakfast that morning.

"I have to leave now, but Bilbo will be back soon and he will take care of you." Bells picked up the giant piglet that she had been tending to since she and Bilbo had found it abandoned by the water a few weeks ago. They had nursed it and the baby pot belly had grown very fond of them in return, of Bells in particular. The little tail wagged again as Belladonna carried her around the back to the pen she and Bilbo had set up for Geraldine. Bells gently set her down and began tossing some food in to keep the little porcine occupied for a little while. "I'll have the Gamgees come around to look in on you till Bilbo gets back."

It was a minor detour and she was already well behind the Dwarves, but she couldn't just leave the piglet without care. She turned around to set down the hill once more and Geraldine squealed in dismay at not going on a walk with her mistress. Bells clenched her hands in frustration at having to leave her behind. She bent over to give the pig another pat on the head and the fresh apple that she always kept on her person. She would have no food until she found the Dwarves now, but at least it would be enough to keep Geraldine happy long enough to walk away; apples were her favorite food too.

With Geraldine momentarily too happy to complain at her departure, Bells took off running down the hill towards the Gamgee house. She was going to have to run the whole North Road if she was to have any chance at catching up to the Dwarves in the Old Forest; might as well start running while the path lie downhill. She stopped only just before crashing into the Gamgee hole front door and knocked urgently. That is to say she banged on the door until someone came to answer it. Hamfast Gamgee came running and was stunned to find Bells on his doorstep. He opened his mouth to ask what the emergency was but Bells cut him off.

"- Can't stop to talk now; I'm late!"

"Late for what?" a completely bewildered Hamfast asked, unknowingly echoing her own words from the night before when the whole mess had begun.

"I'm going on an adventure!" The already somewhat wizened Hobbit took a step backwards in shock. Again, Bells steamrolled any possible interjections.

"I have to leave before Bilbo gets back; he should be by in a few days, but Geraldine will need someone to feed her until then and put her into her pen at night. Also, if you can manage it, give her some pets and maybe go for a walk. She's really easy to handle on a lead." Bells was getting closer to tears with each reminder of how much she loved the pig, her home, and most of all, Bilbo. "Tell Bilbo I love him and I hope to be back someday. It's all explained in the note I left in his room." She grabbed Hamfast in a tight hug and started to cry. The Gamgees and Baggins families had always been close, and the Gamgees had raised her almost as much as Bilbo had. She couldn't say goodbye to Bilbo, Geraldine didn't understand, but Bells could at least say goodbye to her favorite neighbor.

"Ok, Bells. If it's really what you want... I'll have little Sam go over and check on Geraldine for you. It'll be ok." The old Hobbit confusedly patted her on the back, trying to placate her and get some air. Belladonna pulled away and gave Hamfast a smile. "I really am glad to be going, you know. I'm only sad because it means leaving all of you behind. I love you all so much!" With a last look at the confused Hobbit standing in the door, Bells shifted her pack and started running after her destiny.

The Dwarves rode their ponies in ones and twos along the road, still debating whether Belladonna would have made a good asset for the company. "Do you think we were wrong to leave her behind?" Bofur questioned.

"You mean do I think we were wrong to leave a young, naive, green, unseasoned, inexperienced, and untrained Hobbit behind?" Gloin turned around in his saddle to look back at the comical Dwarf to see if he was serious or not. Bofur nodded, legitimizing the question.

"Yes, I think so." Gloin replied in a sudden endorsement of Bells' inclusion on the enterprise. It was not a light thing to say, as Thorin's opinion of the wee lass was well known amongst the group, not to mention the complete opposite.

"Wait! Waaaaiiiit!"

Some of the Dwarves reined in their ponies at the cry. Others who hadn't heard the desperate wail turned when they realized that the rest of the Dwarves had stopped. Thorin of course had heard it, but would have been content to leave little Miss Baggins behind. He was forced to rein his horse around when he realized the rest of his Dwarves were not following as close behind as they should. The expression on his face was nothing short of restrained disgust.

"I signed it!" Bells happily proclaimed as she waved it around for everyone to see before handing it to Balin. The Dwarf gave her a smile and a knowing look as he got out his pocket glass to inspect the document. Bells met Gandalf's eye while Balin read and gave him a cheeky grin."Everything appears to be in order." The Dwarf confirmed. "Welcome, Mistress Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."


	4. Chapter 4

"Welcome, Mistress Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield."

At last, she belonged with the Dwarves... and Thorin! Balin even gave her a celebratory wink. Thorin, however, was not so pleased. As the other Dwarves gave a cheer and a few chuckles, he reined his horse back to the path and called over his shoulder to "Give her a pony."

Bells was aghast. Not two seconds into the enterprise and she was already on her first challenge. She hated horses - not the creatures themselves, of course. Just the riding part; even on a miniature horse, it was all just a little too high for her comfort level.

"No, no, no, n- That- that won't be necessary. Thank you, but I- I'm sure I can keep up on foot. I-I- I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know. I even got as far as Frogmorton once- wha-!" Her stammered explanation was swept aside as two Dwarves rode up on both sides and snatched her up to put her on the spare pony that had been reserved for their burglar.

Belladonna managed to keep her seat in the tiny saddle and tried to get accustomed to the rocky gait of the pony's walk. She attempted to look confident and at home on horseback and managed with marginal success as long as she didn't look down; although she was the shortest pony in the party, Myrtle was a lot taller than anything Bells had been forced to ride in the Shire.

"Come on, Nori. Pay up, go on." Oin shouted from the back of the caravan. Nori tossed a sack of coins (presumably gold) back to Oin, and soon a flurry of jingly pouches were flying around her as the rest of the Dwarves settled their payments. Some laughed in delight while others moaned about females being unpredictable.

To get her mind of her discomfort, she asked Gandalf about the pouches."What is that about?"

"Oh, they took wagers on whether or not you'd turn up. Most of them bet you wouldn't." the old wizard replied.

Bells was sure of one Dwarf in particular would have bet against her. She watched for Thorin to toss back some gold, but none seemed forthcoming. She took heart at the notion he hadn't bet against her, and then carefully weighed it against the fact that he was a king, and not likely to make idle bets with his Dwarves. "What did you think?" she asked Gandalf.

He let out a guilty groan.

Suddenly a bag of gold was chucked at him which he snatched out of the air with great alacrity and stuffed it into his bag. "My dear Belladonna, I never doubted you for a second." Bells smiled at her friend's nod to her own stubbornness. She was tempted to bring up the sneaked sleeping potion, but let it go; she had made it, and that was all that mattered.

"I would have wanted you to stay behind. But you're here now, so all that's over and done with." Gandalf echoed her own thought, though she was surprised he was so easily giving in. There was still plenty of time to send her back to the Shire. Her suspicions were cut short when a sudden pain flared up in her lower belly and radiated through her core.

Oh no.

Bells sucked in a deep breath of air to fight back against the pain. It was too early for this. She had just bled three weeks ago; she wasn't due for a whole 'nother week. With dismay, she checked her hastily packed bag and found that she hadn't thrown in any of her monthly supplies. And with the sickening pain in her belly, she had to do something about it now.

"Gandalf, can we go back really quickly? Please? I forgot some... Important Things."

Gandalf looked at her like she had just grown another head. "My dear Belladonna, what on earth is the matter?"

Bells looked at him and grimaced. If he couldn't hear the capital letters it wasn't likely he was going to understand. She gritted her teeth and spoke as quietly as possible. "It's a Girl Thing."

Gandalf kept looking at her, clearly not comprehending what she was getting at. She dumbed it down as much as she could. "I need to get some Feminine Supplies."

The old wizard's eyes widened as he got it, and also at the gravity of the situation. "Oh, well…" he trailed off. He conceptually knew this was important and something that couldn't really be put off, but at the same time, he had already lost so much ground with Thorin over the whole burglar situation that he couldn't just hold up the whole company to take Belladonna back to get some "Things," as she called them.

The two rode on in uncomfortable silence. When Bells realized that no reply would be forthcoming, she looked for another solution. "Can you just magic me some rags?"

"Rags?" Bofur had been riding just ahead and couldn't help overhearing the conversation. While he didn't know about 'feminine supplies' (the capitalization was completely lost on him) anymore than anyone else in the company, he did understand 'rags'. He tore a strip of cloth from the bottom of his hem (his rather muddy and frayed hem), and tossed it back to Bells. "Here! use this."

Bells caught the completely unsanitary cloth and held it up in disgust for Gandalf to get a good view (and a mild whiff) while giving him a pointed look. "Can you just use some magic… please?" she asked again quietly. The vice in her stomach tightened a few more notches. "And quickly?" she gasped.

There was nothing he would have loved to have done more. But unfortunately his magic didn't work like that. "I'm sorry, Belladonna. I'm afraid I can't. I can't just pull something out of thin air; there has to be a balance-"

"Couldn't you just turn something into some rags? Some… extra horsehair or something? Or, you're always traveling, surely you must have something in your bag that might suffice?" There was not enough magic in the world that could have made that scrap Bofur had just tossed her into something useful.

"I'm afraid not. I don't even have a handkerchief." He said apologetically.

"Then what kind of wizard **are** you?!"

He wisely held his tongue and pretended to be too busy viewing the scenery to notice her outburst, leaving Bells alone to get herself out of this mess. Literally. _'Not even a handkerchief...'_ She harrumphed to herself. She paused, the pain in her stomach taking a backseat to sudden nausea as a sickening realization set in. She looked into her bag at the ridiculously large pile of handkerchiefs she had kept as a memento of Bilbo. She knew they would likely have to be put to an actual use at some point, but this was above and beyond the call of duty, if not capability, for such a momento. The pain fought back against the nausea however, heralding a most dire situation that would be soon to follow. She doubled over in the saddle, shifting into different positions, trying to make her uterus just a little less angry. The pain was even worse this month just from the stress of the last few weeks of unwanted proposals and Bilbo going away. She almost passed out when she thought how bad it would be next month having been on the road that whole time, with who knows what else going on to make her uterus strangle her insides in revenge. She would need something to get her through this month's cycle, however. With another wince she forced herself to look analytically at the handkerchiefs and stifled a mental shudder.

"_I'm so sorry Bilbo…" _

Gandalf braved glance at Belladonna after she had fallen suspiciously quiet for awhile. He did a double take when he followed the line of her gaze and realized she was looking at the pile of perfectly bleached, starched, ironed, and folded material in her bag. _'They would probably do just as well,'_ he figured. He could see the wheels turning in her head as she calculated how many strips to make and how long they would last. He could also see she was reluctant to put them to some practical use.

"You'll have to manage without pocket-handkerchiefs and a good many other things, Belladonna Baggins, before we reach our journey's end. You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire, but home is now behind you; the world is ahead."

Bells head snapped up to glower at the useless wizard. Gandalf took the hint and rode ahead. At least her anger gave her an outlet for the pain. She refused to whimper and let it make her look weak, but she would happily take all the bravado she could get. She called up ahead to a cowering Gandalf and still annoyed Thorin "Can we at least stop for a bathroom break soon?"

* * *

Bells tossed and turned under the flimsy bedding. In her haste to run after the Dwarves, she had also neglected to grab the ultra fluffy and super warm wool blanket the Gamgees had gifted her on her last birthday and instead had wrapped up the two light quilts she kept handy for when Geraldine was allowed to spend the night inside. She shivered from the cold and cursed her lack of preparation for the journey. She was still upset about the handkerchief situation, not to mention they weren't doing all that good of a job, even though she had been on horseback all day and not moved around too much. The fact that she was with a dozen smelly, snoring, and some outright bulldozing Dwarves didn't help sleep come any faster.

Her dwelling was interrupted when something heavy but soft was dropped unceremoniously on top of her. She looked up to see Gandalf hovering over her looking quite proud of himself. "I found some goose feathers."

She shifted the enormous blanket off of her and spread it out to inspect the offering. She gestured at the sheer size and intricacy of it. Surely, he could have come up with something on the spot earlier with much less than "some goose feathers."

"Are you _**serious**_?!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice low. Most of the Dwarfs had fallen asleep already, and she didn't need more flak from them; she had already been teased mercilessly for the frequent bathroom breaks, and after the novelty wore off there was even some outright indignation about being held up, although there was some division about why this was so. The younger crowd and those who had been less lucky in love couldn't quite understand why they were so frequent, while those more experienced just wanted to get along and kept their mouths shut to keep things from getting worse. They knew female problems being discussed among males was a bad recipe when there was an actual female present. Bells made a note to get to know the latter group better this week since they would make better allies in the future.

Gandalf just stood there, the grin wiped from his face. This was clearly not the reaction he had been expecting.

"_**Now**_ you come up with a solution?" She ripped the giant down filled blanket in half, feathers flying everywhere and began tearing one of the pieces into smaller strips. The fabric was plush and thick. It was even absorbent. She gave a look at the wizard that promised murder. "I couldn't even save *one* of those handkerchiefs, not a one to remind me of Bilbo."

Gandalf offered a helpless shrug and retreated to his own blanket to light his pipe. Bells continued to take her rage out on the unoffending blanket half and when it was redistributed into the desired formations and packed away for tomorrow, found she couldn't go back to sleep. Even with the other blanket half wrapped around her twice. Now she was too hot and angry to sleep. In a huff, she wriggled out of her new comfy bedroll and got up for a walk. She thought visiting with the ponies might be nice; at least there would be someone civilized that she could talk to.

Bells carefully picked her way across the camp, dodging around sleeping bundles and packs. She paused by Oin to marvel at the way he snored; tiny flying insects were hovering over his face and would get sucked into his mouth every time he inhaled, expelled back out when he exhaled, only to be sucked in again with the next ingress of breath. Once the astonishment had worn off, she walked away quickly, trying to shrug off what she just saw. As she got closer to the ponies, Bells noticed Fili and Kili were up smoking their pipes nearby. She studiously ignored them, especially since they had been the ones giving her the hardest time about the frequent stops earlier in the day. At last she got to her steed and reached out to give her a pat. "Hello, girl. That's a good girl." The brown little shetland moved in for the pet and nosed even closer when she caught a whiff of something in Bell's pocket. _'Just like Geraldine.'_ Bells thought. With the acquiescence of a complete push-over, she fished out the apple she had nicked from one of the food bags while dinner was being prepared. "It's our little secret Myrtle; you must tell no one." She shushed the little horse to secrecy as it happily munched on the apple, her own natural good humor restored once more.

Only to be shattered as a far off scream pierced the night air.

"What was that?" She looked over at Fili and Kili. Had she not been so scared, she would have asked someone else.

"Orcs." Kili replied darkly. Fili remained unconcerned, leaning against the natural wall they were camped next to as if he heard screams from Orc attacks every night, but some of the dozing Dwarves (Thorin included) jerked awake on hearing the mere mention of 'Orcs.' Gandalf watched the youngest party members with vague interest as he smoked his pipe. Normally, he would have put a stop to this latest bit of hazing, but he knew Bells would not respond favorably to his interference, even if it would have spared her a night without sleep.

"Orcs?" Bells echoed in shock. Another scream was quickly silenced in the darkness beyond the campfire. She began picking her way over to the brothers as fast as her little Hobbit feet could carry her.

Fili added some credibility with quiet menace "Throat-cutters. There'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them."

Kili upped the scare factor by throwing in "They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep."

Bells fear was palpable. She huddled in close with her back to the brothers, her arms wrapped around her knees like a child and trembled as she scanned the darkness.

"Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood."

She looked out again into the night, looking for any hint of an orc lurking about. Just behind her Fili and Kili finally braved a look at each other and burst into laughter. Before Bells could become properly outraged, Thorin cut them off.

"You think that's funny?"

Everyone turned to see Thorin up and walking towards the pair of miscreants.

"You think a night raid by Orcs is a joke?"

The atmosphere of the entire camp went serious. Fili and Kili's eyes suddenly found the dirt by the campfire to be quite fascinating. "We didn't mean anything by it." Kili said.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world." he added bitterly as he walked past the chastised Dwarves to the outskirts of the camp, looking down from the hill out into the valley below in silent contemplation. Balin followed quietly in Thorin's tangible wake and braced an arm against the wall Fili was using. "Don't mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most… to hate Orcs." The little group glanced over at Thorin, sensing that something more than just a few renegade Orcs were behind that interlude. Balin explained. "After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria."

'_Thror...'_ Bells tried to remember some of the information she had gotten on Thorin during the ride. Nothing juicy, but she did learn his family tree. Kili and Fili were actually his nephews. Thror was Thorin's grandfather.

"But our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs led by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin."

Bells tried to imagine the horror of having someone vow to wipe out her entire family. She managed to the point of vague horror and sadness, but had to think of something else quickly. She had already left her brother behind and the realization of that loss was still sinking in; she was still in borderline denial mode and couldn't begin to comprehend what it must have been like to lose an entire family.

In fact, she began to realize just how bad it was that she would likely never see her brother again. She had accepted the price of giving up her old life to join the quest, no questions asked. Even the likelihood of dying on this quest didn't seem to bother her. But the reality of never being hugged by Bilbo again was a fresh shock to her.

"He began by beheading the King. Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us."

By this point the entire camp was awake and had crowded in to listen raptly to Balin's narration. Despite the dozen Dwarves around her, Bells had never felt more alone. She hadn't just left Hobbiton, she had left the one person she could always count on to be there with a hug whenever she needed it most. She hadn't really felt the full weight of that during the day, when she had been so preoccupied with staying on top of Myrtle, and managing her Feminine Situation. Now that she had nothing but a fireside story to distract her, she almost regretted her decision, even while knowing it was the only one she could have lived with.

"That is when I saw him: a young Dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc."

Trying to stay invested in the story to avoid thinking of Bilbo, Bells tried to imagine the Dwarf King a few decades younger… and got distracted when she realized just how old he was. Sure, 195 years old sounded plenty old, but it just didn't compute whenever she looked at the Dwarf. Without the few streaks of grey in his hair one would barely guess he was even middle aged. Breaking down the numbers though, her optimism took a definite hit. Fortunately this was tempered by the visualization what Thorin might have looked like with a few less gray streaks in his hair and a slightly trimmer waist, with just a touch more defined muscle about him. '_Oh, yes..._' Bells tried in vain to keep from blushing.

"He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armor rent… wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield."

'_That explains his name, and why he prefers it over his own.' _she thought inanely.

"Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated."

A sense of awe drifted through the camp, and a few Dwarves collectively gasped. Even of the several who had lived through it still seemed amazed at the turn of events.

"But there was no feast, no song, that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King."

The entire company was in still in awe, staring at Thorin with newfound respect. Bell's sentiments echoed Balin's. While she had lost everything, there was still Thorin. He was the reason she had left everything behind. And if he could survive an ordeal like that, not only survive, but win, then… there was no reason to doubt that they wouldn't succeed in their current quest. They could survive, and they could even reclaim the mountain. Bells could even go home afterwards if she still wanted to see Bilbo.

Bells was the first to break from the spell of the story. She couldn't help asking for at least some kind of closure to the story. "But the Pale orc? What happened to him?"

Thorin, having heard the entire narration, barely looked over his shoulder to answer her question "He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago."

Gandalf and Balin shared a look that suggested some doubt to Thorin's assessment. Clearly there was something more to the story that they weren't sharing.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_Sorry about the delay. I've had two big issues to deal with this chapter: the menstruation issue and Bell's character arc._

_I'm really excited to have submitted a piece that includes a girl's particular difficulties on a quest. Menstruation is never mentioned in these kinds of stories, even when there is a central female character; we hear about meals, the horse ride, the scenery, all the other menial stuff, but I guess the female mysteries are just too 'gross' to be talked about. I did think about getting a bit more graphic and having either Fili or Kili walk in on a particularly gory moment and despite being warriors used to blood, getting maybe a little scarred for life from the experience. While this was extremely tempting, I followed an author's prerogative to gloss over the finer points of bathroom protocol in these stories, but only because it would have changed the relationship dynamic. Things between Bells and the young Dwarves should be light and fun, and having one of them witness something like that, I like to think would have given them just a bit too much respect for her for the dynamic to flow as I would like at this point in the story. Maybe there's a perspective shift later, but it'll be more like the end of the story. And let's be honest, we're still just getting to know the characters; the real developments come later._

_Speaking of which, I've been trying really hard to keep Bells balanced and not too hormonal while still keeping her true to her love for Thorin and yet also feeling the loss of Bilbo. I know it goes back and forth a lot in this chapter, but grief especially in the early stages can give a person -and consequently the people dealing with that person- a good bit of emotion whiplash. Now that the full implications of her decision have begun to set in, things should be calming down on that front in the next few chapters._


End file.
